Work life · 5 min read
How do I find a mentor?
How to find a mentor at work or outside it: where to look, how to ask without it being awkward, templates, and how to make the relationship useful.
The short answer
Most good mentoring relationships start small. Instead of asking a stranger "Will you be my mentor?", ask someone a step or two ahead of you for one 20-minute conversation about a specific question. If it goes well, follow up with what you did with their advice and ask for another chat. Look inside your organisation (formal mentoring schemes, senior colleagues, other teams), in professional bodies, alumni networks, online communities and mentoring charities. Be clear on what you want help with, prepare questions, respect their time, and offer something back where you can.
Key takeaways
- Start with one specific conversation, not a big ask.
- Look at work, professional bodies, alumni networks and mentoring schemes.
- Be specific about what you want help with.
- Follow up with what you did, and keep it light and regular.
On this pageWhere to find a mentor
Where to find a mentor
| Where | How |
|---|---|
| Your workplace | Formal schemes, senior colleagues, other teams |
| Professional bodies | Many run mentoring programmes for members |
| Alumni networks | University and school alumni platforms |
| Online communities | Slack groups, forums, LinkedIn groups in your field |
| Mentoring charities | Programmes for under-represented groups and career changers |
| Former managers | People who already know your work |
How to ask
Hi Alex, I'm a project coordinator thinking about moving into product management, and I've been following your posts on product discovery. Would you have 20 minutes in the next few weeks for me to ask how you made the move? I'd be grateful for any advice.
Be specific, explain why them, make it small and easy to say yes to.
Making it useful
- Prepare two or three questions for each conversation.
- Take notes and act on at least one piece of advice.
- Follow up with what you did and what happened.
- Ask if they'd be open to talking again in a month or two.
- Offer help back: insights, introductions or feedback.
Mistakes to avoid
- Asking "Will you be my mentor?" in the first message.
- Arriving without questions.
- Asking for a job instead of advice.
- Disappearing after one conversation.
What to talk about
- A decision you're facing, with the options you're weighing.
- How they handled a challenge you're now facing.
- What they'd do differently in their early career.
- Feedback on a CV, plan or piece of work.
- Who else they think you should talk to.
Specific questions get specific advice. "How did you decide between management and staying technical?" is far more useful than "Do you have any career advice?".
Illustrative example
Ana, a nurse curious about health tech, messages a former nurse now working as a clinical product manager. They have a 20-minute call. Ana follows the advice to join a digital project at her hospital, reports back two months later, and they agree to talk every couple of months. A year later, her mentor introduces her to a hiring manager.
Questions people ask
- What's the difference between a mentor and a coach?
- A mentor shares experience and advice from having done something similar. A coach helps you find your own answers through questions, and may not be from your field. Both can help.
- How often should I meet a mentor?
- Monthly or every six weeks is common. Agree what works for both of you.
- Should I pay for a mentor?
- Most mentoring is free. Paid coaching or mentoring platforms can help if you need structured support quickly, but try free routes first.
- Can I have more than one mentor?
- Yes. Many people have several: one for career direction, one for a skill, one in their target field.
- What if nobody replies?
- That's normal. Busy people miss messages. Follow up once after a week or two, then try someone else. Asking five people for a short conversation usually leads to at least one.
- Can a peer be a mentor?
- Yes. Peer mentoring with someone at a similar stage can be valuable for support, accountability and sharing what works. Many people combine peer mentors with more senior ones.
- How do I end a mentoring relationship?
- Thank them, tell them what difference their advice made, and keep the door open. Mentoring relationships often naturally slow down; a warm message every so often keeps the connection.
- What should I look for in a mentor?
- Someone a few steps ahead in a direction you want to go, who listens, gives honest feedback and has time. Seniority matters less than relevance and willingness to help.
- Are formal mentoring schemes worth joining?
- Often, yes. They remove the awkwardness of asking and match you with someone willing to help. Go in with clear goals, prepare for each meeting, and treat the match as a starting point rather than the only mentor you'll have.
Exercises are practice, not evidence of career fit or a qualification. How to read our guides and report a correction.
Sources
- Coaching and mentoring factsheet · CIPD
- Future of Recruiting · LinkedIn Talent Solutions
How this page is written
Sources support the factual background, not a guarantee that an exercise predicts career fit. Fictional practice material is labelled. Dates record content updates; no independent expert review is implied. More about OffLadder.